A Secret About Being Offended and Taking Things Personally

Here is one golden key to better relationships, less stress, and more productivity.

It is quite simple as an idea, and it is very unusual.

Nobody can offend you.

Why?

Because taking offense is something YOU do.

Not something others do to you.

And it is great because it also means you don't have to be offended and take things personally.

The act of being offended is totally optional.

You have the freedom of choice. You don't have to take offense.

Here is an example:

Have you witnessed a situation or a circumstance where someone does or says something and different people react differently?
E.g. person A says something that is not nice.

Person B is offended and angry.

Person C is curious and asks a clarifying question.

Person D reacts with humor, not taking himself or the “offense” seriously.

Three people and three different reactions to the same event.

Again, it’s a choice.

And we forget about that choice.

I'm not talking about a person who wants to do physical harm to you, a risk to your health or life, that's a different scenario.

I am talking about emotional stuff.

You don’t have to defend yourself if someone "attacks" you verbally or psychologically.

Now, imagine all the energy, attention, creativity, and productivity you can use for something awesome, instead of wasting it on being offended, having hurt feelings, defending yourself, or even dealing with a conflict and its long-term implications. Can you imagine that?

Here is an example: Someone calls you a jerk or worse.

So you can take offense and start defending yourself.

Or you can choose something like this: "Ok, I understand why you might think that. And if some of my actions caused pain to you, I'm really sorry for that. Do you mind sharing with me what I did to make you think that?"

Again, you don't have to be offended.

In fact, you can be anything else instead.

What do you want to be?

Curious? Creative? Empathetic?

Pick at least one that serves you and other people around you the best.

Which one would you choose now?

If you have any questions, or want a resource - email me at

alexander (at) lossew.de

Be awesome. Be you.

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👋 My name is Alexander Lossew
➡️ I coach #executives, #leaders, and teams to go from good to great 🚀